VD is the one day I shove the feminist in me and openly declare that I need pampering. And gifts are a big part of it. We can all wax eloquent about the joy of gift-giving but we know it’s bupkis when compared to the joy of unwrapping one. Finding a good gift for a woman is easier than finding a graphic scene in an Irving Wallace novel. As much as Men’s health magazine would have you believe, you need not delve deep into our core beliefs to get us one—A pretty, well-fitting dress that none of my friends have. A shiny-but-not-too-tawdry pair of earrings. A relaxing day at the spa followed by a home-cooked meal. Simple joys of life are all what we crave for.
Yet, men over-think it every year. Fights ensue. Insecurities are disengaged from their deep seats. Year-old issues are roused from the dead, ultimately leading to questions of the “where is the relationship going?” nature. In short, no action. Just angry reactions.
Subtlety is overrated
I know that men are inundated with choice which could paradoxically limit their ability to choose. By flagging some of the options as verboten, I hope to ease the situation:
1. Gift cards
This includes all food coupons, department store cards (Victoria’s secret too), Amazon and iTunes cards. We get it. They’re utility-based gifts, but that’s something you give a long-distance friend when you forget his birthday, not someone you’re having dinner with that night.
2. Teddy bears/ figurines/statuettes of any kind
As much as we need to support our knees when we see one, we don’t want you to give us cuddly things. It just makes us look vulnerable. And we want to be pampered without appearing vulnerable. Same goes for figurines, but in a different way. Anything that could adorn a showcase in the house is best left for the wedding registry.
3. Chocolates
We love chocolates. Any shape. Any form. I am sure many men do too. That’s precisely why we don’t want them. Plus, you could get them at a Walmart.
4. Home appliances
You might think that an easy-bake oven is the perfect gift for your wife/girlfriend who loves baking. Maybe for Christmas, sure. On VD however, no allusions or even mild winking at gender stereotypes. Even though we’ve all seen that scene from “The father of the bride.”
5. DIY books
Books on how to change a tire or fix the motherboard on the computer might speak to our feminist side, but remember how we decide to dump that side on VD? It’s best to steer clear of any procedural books for the day.
So, yes. The gift should be feminine, not feminist. It should be useful, not utility-based. It should make us feel pretty without being confining or stereotypical. And it shouldn’t look easy. That’s all it takes to make a woman happy.
Or you could just say that you don’t want to exchange gifts this year because spending time with her and seeing her lovely smile trumps a million gifts. Your take.
Wow! This list doesn’t leave a lot in the kosher gifts department. But I guess one can make a go of it. Nice post.
Thanks and good luck finding one
Agree, agree, agree! Gift cards are my #1 pet peeve gift from anyone who’s close to me. It just comes across as lazy and half-assed in my opinion. Somehow, if guys read this, I feel like they’d get even more confused about what to get us girls…..
Thanks for commenting, Lillian! You’re probably right about this adding to the confusion
Maybe I should leave out chocolates 
This is one of those posts that I wish I’d written.
Great job.
Thanks a ton! You’re much too kind!
Hey! I went with a teddy bear and some chocolates for the gf this year – a double foul! At least I didn’t follow that up with a washing machine.
Fun post Aparna! Hope you had a great V day! : )
I had a long-distance V day which was kinda good for my boyfriend as he belongs to the gift card and figurine category! Thanks for commenting
I’m sure he does!
Haha! He inspired this post, actually! Thanks for commenting
i’m so glad you left a thing about the household appliances. there was a movie, i forget which one where the guy gets a girl a dustbuster. it didn’t go over well… loool. great post. xoxox, sm
A dustbuster! Ouchie! And I thought even the blender was a bit much (Father of the Bride). Thanks for commenting, SM
my pleasure, it was a great read. xoxo
You are definitely a woman after my own heart! =)
I’m gonna take that as a compliment! Thanks for commenting, Stacie
Of COURSE it’s a compliment. =p
This is a bit late. Just stumbled across your blog. I once gave the missus a mincer (like for mincing food) for xmas. I still don’t understand why she wasn’t impressed. She could have done home-made sausages. Can there be anything more interesting to make and cook? But I agree whole heartedly with items 1 to 3 and item 5. What are my fellow men thinking of?!
Haha! I think, and i could be wrong that couples always find means to buy stuff that they need. These include the utility goods I talked about. What we often hesitate to buy are the things we really want. Gifts are a wonderful way to fill this void.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!